Kelly’s Day 3 was about “To-Do Lists” and mine is about schedules. Plans. Expectations. As I reflected on the list of things causing me bitterness and why they do so, I found it was because they don’t fit my schedule. God and I have fought many times on this before. Or rather, I’ve fought and He’s patiently waited for me to fall in step with Him.
I don’t always know it either. I will feel anxious out of no where and I’m sure that on reflection, “schedule” would be at the heart of it. There are some areas that I am not anxious about planning for. I’ve let go of my expectations. One such area is what field God calls me to work in. I could really care less WHERE I go or what I’m doing when I get there. What I am concerned about is WHEN.
Ok, so, as I’m thinking about it, the “WHERE” factor is pretty much the only area that I’m not concerned about. And even my anxiety right now to get away is not so much because I feel it’s time for God to send me somewhere, but more that I just want to get away.
But let’s throw all the rest aside. When I was “picky” about where I would serve, if God called me somewhere else, I would fight Him tooth and nail. God had to hit me upside the heard…in several ways…to get me to agree to go to one such place. When Japan came up, thankfully, I learned from that mistake and was willing to go, even though I knew nothing about the country and had never had any, ANY desire to go there. And it was one of the best experiences of my life.
But that trip brought up something I have struggled with before – my expectations of others. Especially of other believers. but I am a work in progress, why shouldn’t others be too?
My expectations of how members of the family should be or friends, or boyfriends…whatever “position” someone holds…it reflects an expectation you have for them.
God is the only One who we can expect to be just like He is described in Scripture and for Him to be exactly like that. Anyone else has free license to go against your expectations, whether for good or for bad.
So, I’m asking God (not man…) to help me release my faulty expectations and the schedules I make in my mind. His ways are not my own and I can never expect Him to keep to my own desires and whims. I can expect Him to be good, to love me, and to be sovereign over all. And as the meaning of those things trickle down in to my mind, my expectations will fall into line with who He really is and who I really am.
Sounds like God is doing great things in your heart already! I hope and pray that your ten days with God in prayer in repentance are wonderfully refreshing and challenging. =)
thanks for stopping by and for helping me have a starting point to go from. 🙂 How’s the road trip going?
Here’s something to stir good and godly thoughts:
Thanks for stopping by!