In honor of this joyous holiday…here are a few puns to get your funny bone jigglin’.
These are the top 20 funniest puns according to punoftheday.com Enjoy!
|1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.|
|2. I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me. |
3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
4. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
|5. There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’. |
6. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
7. Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.
|8. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.|
|9. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.|
|10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.|
11. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
12. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
13. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
14. Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
15. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
16. What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
17. A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
18. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.