Abet & Aid Punsters Day!! Rejoice!

In honor of this joyous holiday…here are a few puns to get your funny bone jigglin’.

These are the top 20 funniest puns according to punoftheday.com  Enjoy!

1.   I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
2.   I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
 

3.   Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

4.   He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

5.   There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.
 

6.   Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

7.   Old doctors never die they just lose their patience.

8.   To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
9.   The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
10.   Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

11.   A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.

12.   There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

13.   A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.

14.   Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.

15.   When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

16.   What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.

17.   A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

18.   Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

19.   A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

20.   We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Abet & Aid Punsters Day!! Rejoice!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s