Xapa to the World

Month: January 2005

  • Poem: Cold Winter 5

    5
    January 28, 2005

    Cold and my lips unmoving
    Silence filling in the voids within these walls
    Yet my thoughts are rushing
    Swirling as fast as the snow
    Caught in the dance of the Winter wind
    Tossing and thrashing
    Sweeping the sky as salt.
    Never resting to stick together
    Just flying through the air
    To strike at my face; bite my nose.
    My mind dulled by the constant
    Throw of snow and flakes
    Protected only by my scarf and gloves
    Wrapped around my neck
    A meager attempt at warmth.
    When will my thoughts feel to me
    A gentle summer breeze?
    Not until the air turns warm
    And the wind comes from the other side
    Where the sun is sleeping.

    Sarah ><>

  • Poem: Cold Winter 4

    4
    January 26, 2005

    Sickness is a reminder
    Of Winter’s lack of sustenance
    So easy to lose control of the body
    The nose, head, throat, joints,
    Heart, soul…
    Trapped in the cage of self
    Craving for release and when
    Self’s door opens and the fresh air
    Beckons on the other side,
    Too lazy to lift a finger or toe
    The desire is gone, once known
    That only cold exists beyond my shelter
    Hapless, distorted, nauseous
    Staying inside or suffer the cold
    Choices not so easily made
    Nor when my body is boggled down
    By this worm writhing free in me.
    I wish to stamp it out, discipline
    But no avail, nothing will stop it
    So I lay here, cold, unaffected.

    Sarah ><>

  • Poem: Cold Winter 1-3

    January 22, 2005

    1

    A bitter, cold and aching feeling
    Embraces me this winter.
    The soft snow tumbling outside
    Kissing the window and my eyes.
    The loneliness of the season
    Creeps in and paws at me,
    Blankets me like the snow
    Covering, burying me, cold
    My heart is warmed only
    By the thoughts of a summer
    Spent with people at my side
    And only a care to their eternity.
    I can’t completely remember
    What brought me from there to here:
    The responsibilities of pushing ahead
    A broken heart from the West
    And South
    The feeling of my hopes and dreams
    Racing away from me to the unreachable
    Or just the cold, cold wind outside.

     2

    Frigid and unfeeling in the snow
    Mind and heart deadened by the cold.
    Do I really feel anything anymore?
    Only a gnawing at my soul
    “I am alone, so alone.”
    In my thoughts, doings, body
    Alone and unaware.
    Fingers are freezing in the air
    Biting at them, red from the chill
    I beat them against my leg
    Waiting for the blood to flow
    Feeling nothing, I sigh
    Watching my breath take form
    And vanish in the steady,
    Falling snow, so cold.
    I inhale and feel the cold air
    Pierce my chest and shiver
    Longing for warmth to fill me again
    To move inside me and awaken
    The sleeping spirit buried within.

    3

    A tree once green now captive
    To the white clinging to its branches
    The colors in my mind are
    But a phantom of what used to be.
    Exactly as I feel in the bland,
    Colorless world I see before me:
    No grass to run through,
    Nor tree to climb,
    No flowers to pick or make wishes on.
    My feet trapped within these shoes
    Long to be set free and breathe.
    The red of a cardinal lights on a tree
    Set for a moment and mocks me
    Laughing at my petty thoughts
    And arguments of injustice
    Then flies away casually
    As if to say, “It’s not my problem.”
    Just a memory added to memories
    Of color and conversation
    Absent in this cold, cold winter.

    Sarah ><>

  • Poem: In Her Eyes

    This piece was written in response to the 2004 tsunami.  I think I’ve explained this poem before, but since I’m going through all my work, I better go through this one as well.  I didn’t really have a particular person in mind, except for a small Indian girl.  In my mind’s eyes, she was standing amidst rubble and refuse that had been brought up by the floodwaters.  The look of sadness has permeated every part of her, but especially her face and her eyes.  The eyes of a child that young should never be sad, and she has experienced some of the deepest sadness in the world.  I don’t know if she lost someone who she loved, but more than likely she did.  If anything, she is torn apart by the sadness surrounding her.  Here’s the poem.

    January 18th, 2005

    In Response to December 24th, 2004

    My Child, why are your eyes
    So sad and low?
    The water flowed and washed
    All your joy away.Once deep and tranquil,
    Two drops of love
    In a sea of brown,
    Now murky and red.Where have all your tears gone?
    Back to the sea
    Inside your heart where they
    Stay behind the wall.Grow, my dear, to smile again
    And laugh with glee;
    Dance beside a gentle sea rocking
    Now calm and serene. – Sarah ><>

  • Poem: Babel, O Babble

    January 10th, 2005

    The sounds of mine
    Humble me to the ground
    Making me beg for patience and compassion
    The many tongues utter mutual nonsense
    How did we ever get this way?

    The voices in unison
    Oneness of thought
    Brought Man to his proudest moment and vanity
    Toppled by Your might and power
    Why did You do it this way?

    Now pleading a case
    Ears deaf to words
    The sounds fail to communicate
    Hearts are hardened to the coal-covered diamonds
    Will You provide the way?

     – Sarah ><>