This is more of a question post.
Matt and I decided that we wouldn’t talk about combining our regular finances until we absolutely had to. We both seem to have a good handle on the bills that we have and why add extra stress before the wedding by jumbling up our financial systems until necessary.
That said, I’m curious about when you all (the sparse readers) started combining the different aspects of your lives together with your spouse. Was it before the wedding? Was it after? Was it at random times, depending on the aspect? Like…I’ve taken over one or two boxes to The House of my things – decorations and such that I’ve gathered through the years until I had a place to display them. Matt also signed up for AAA, so he added me on as part of his household and now I have my own card. 😀 That was nice. Still has my current name on it. We also went ahead and opened a joint checking account just for the money we get together for the wedding. That seemed a very logical and not very invasive thing to do.
There was one thing that did come up that I was on the fence about: a return address stamp. I was hoping that I would have got the one I decided on in the mail by the time I wrote this entry, but alas, it’s taking its dear, sweet lovin’ time. A return address stamp might seem like a fairly innocuous thing. BUT, sometimes small details can really trip up a brain. By the way, I got a discount for an address stamper through Groupon, which is what brought on this whole ordeal. And a mental ordeal it was…you’ve been warned.
The traditional return address label is the bride’s family home, or the ones paying for the wedding. However, since Matt and I are taking care of the bulk of the finances for the wedding, this didn’t seem like an issue. For a practical aspect, there’s not a lot of room at my current home for lots of gifts and such that might come through the mail. At The House, there’s a whole spare room set aside for wedding things – to be converted to a project room once it’s all straightened up after the wedding. So, for things like gifts, or items we are buying ahead of time, having them sent to The House just makes sense. We’re also inviting out-of-town friends and guests to send postcards for our wedding guestbook and those will be sent to The House as well.
But, there’s still the question of the return stamp. Do we put both of our first names and the address of The House? Or do we just have the address with no names? I was really torn about it. I didn’t feel comfortable using Matt’s last name before our wedding date. I also didn’t want people to think that we’re living together already, even though most who know us would not think that. Equally important is the cost idea: I didn’t want to buy a stamp to only use for 8 months and then have to get a whole new one for after marriage. So, I made a compromise. A little out of tradition, I went ahead and ordered the stamp with my future address labeled as “The Martin House.” Yes, it’s a dumb thing to get all concerned about, but I do have 8 months, I might as well think about details like these.
So, what about you? Was there one thing about combining your life with another person that got you on edge or was a real struggle to work through? I don’t think there’s any real right or wrong answer, and our idea of a good arrangement might not work for someone else. I would love to hear your thoughts, though. Might as well learn from those who have taken this path already.
I’m getting married to my, you guessed it, best friend on June 1st, 2013! Matt and I are super-excited and since we have quite a bit of time to plan this thing, I decided it’d be fun to blog about it. Well, maybe not always fun, but at least informative and it might give me a welcome distraction. You can find all the posts by clicking the “Getting Married” tab on the right of this page, or by clicking here. Thanks for stopping by!
My Pinterest Wedding Board
Our Wedding Website on WeddingWire.com
- Getting Married: 35 Weeks – Engagement Photos (xapatotheworld.wordpress.com)
- Getting Married: 36 Weeks – 20 Thoughts (xapatotheworld.wordpress.com)
- Getting Married: 37 Weeks – DIY Invitations (xapatotheworld.wordpress.com)
- Getting Married: Countdown Post (xapatotheworld.wordpress.com)
Hey, my friend! I can definitely relate… I got married later in my twenties, so I had spent years determining who I was and who I wanted to be, and then I was expected to just “merge” this with another person? I had trouble with it because of how independent I am, but it was/is the same struggle I feel in giving myself over to God. Giving a part of yourself up, only to the right person of course, is a humbling (yes), scary (yes), but amazing experience that I have never regretted. You won’t either – I know you! I will say that it is much either to do it a little at a time before the wedding…. It eases you in to it and to the idea. Love you, and praying for you during this crazy life experience!