Here is a poem that I particularly like.  The title should strike a cord with my Calvin-buddies out there.  🙂  No, that’s not really a just statement, because regardless of whether you lean Calvinist or not, you have to acknowledge that God loved us first because we were made by Him, and knew Him not until we were created.  He loved us before He made us.  Isn’t that wonderful?

  When you read the first part, it looks like it doesn’t fit, but at the time of writing, I was struggling with having just come out of a relationship, or something of the like.  I can’t remember.  God has blessed me with a short-term memory to some heartaches in my past…without taking away the lessons learned.  But, as always, my introspective self sought to determine my motives for serving God.  Several came to mind, which are mentioned below.  But God’s still, small voice…his gentle whisper…comes through and reminds me that I am not my own and would be lost without Him. 

  I had a discussion with my boss yesterday about how hard it is to think that good will come from bad events in our lives…yet, God promises us that He will make good of them.  It’s hard to see…and somehow, God has graciously helped my heart bypass doubt that the bad will turn good, and when something bad is happening, I am already looking with hope to the good…whatever it may be.  I know that not everyone is able to do that though…so I am grateful for it.  BUT, back to the conversation…we discussed some of the bad things that have happened in her life, and I pointed out some things that I noticed as far as good that has come from those things having happened to her.  It was neat.  She said that with the things that have happened in my own life, she’s surprised that I didn’t turn out more wild and unruly than I am. 

  I think it was Billy Graham who said that the reason God made him a preacher wasn’t because he was such a good guy.  It was because he is capable of such bad things that God decided to keep him on a shorter leash than others.  Maybe that’s how it is for me.  I’m no better than anyone else, but I’m certainly capable of some evil things.  I reflected that thought in this poem.  I hope you can relate to it as you read.  Thanks!

He First Loved Me

July 19th, 2005

I feel I’ve let You down again.
I was walking around and got distracted
By the handsome faces
And beautiful words. Oh, I flutter at those.
I asked myself, “Self, why do you
Do so much for God and His Cause?”
Some thoughts in me cry, “She’s weak!”
“She’s too good!” “She’s afraid!”
Ah, fear. Yes, I do believe that’s a big one.
I stay with God because I’m afraid of what my life would be,
Without Him.
I do fear the world, though I discreetly hide it.
I fail to open myself up for fear of
Being sucked in and lost in the morass.
Or worse! Afraid of being hurt…
But one thought does speak softly,
It sticks out in the meekness of its nature.
“Because you love Him.”
And I think – I love Him because He first loved me.
Yes, so I will take my rest in those words.
“He first loved me.”

 – Sarah ><>