I’ve been trying to think of how to describe what all has transpired over the last week…and I believe that the word “whirlwind” fits the best. You’ll have to excuse me for my grammar tonight because I have been watching the BBC production of “Pride & Prejudice” and it always puts a spin on my talking for at least the rest of the night, sometimes even into my dreams. 🙂 Last week, I received notice of a position available with a church in Japan for an English teacher. For some time, I think I have given up all hope, really, of being able to leave the US (let alone Cincinnati) for a very long time to pursue my calling into the mission field.
When I graduated high school, almost all agencies that I could have wanted to work with required that I have some sort of bachelor’s degree. So, I went to college and graduated, only to find out that almost all agencies that I could have wanted to work with now frowned on owing money of any sort. So, I had nailed myself down to a job that I don’t reeeeally care for (selling people things that supposedly bring security…yet I know in my heart never could) for several years at least while I whittled away at my school debt…which is not enormous, but a sum, nonetheless. More than Mr. Darcy makes in a year, though…I assure you.
But, then, this opportunity comes up, and for some reason, I saw for the first time how little I really have here to hold me down. Yes, I have a job, my family is here, most of my friends and support system…but honestly, in the world of communication that we live in today, would it be all that distanced by being a mere halfway around the globe? And so, with some other messages from God that seem to be pointing at my going to Japan, if not just confirmation that I should be willing to go, I have started seeking how to liquidate my life here in the States as much a possible. And really, it’s not going to take all that much.
At the same time, emotionally, I’m so torn at the thought of leaving my family, my friends, my church, the kids in my church…they are sooo precious to me. Especially the kids at church, when they don’t really have that understanding of surrender to God in these circumstances…it’s hard for them to understand why I would want to leave them like this…to look in their faces. Of course, it encourages me that the time I’ve been spending investing in their lives and a relationship with them has been successful…it hurts thinking not to have them in my life each week.
I’m going to be hearing finality on my going or not sometime in the beginning of this week. When that happens, I will let everyone know. But until then, I better get to sleep! Later!!